Diagnosis: First find what is the reason for the stress you are under. What is the source of these considerable stress and anxiety in your life? Try role-play – monitor yourself as if you are another person. Note each little problem that makes you anxious and what was your reaction. When you get home in the evening write what you think would be the best reaction to each of these problems. Read it aloud. When facing the same issue next time, remember what you’ve decided to do about it and DO it! Even if this causes you discomfort, just do it. You will get better and better every time. It’s like muscles, they become stronger only when you practice.
There are two types of stress: imposed and self-imposed
And while you can teach yourself to cope with stress imposed by others, coping with stress you self impose it far more difficult. However, there are significant
benefits of overcoming stress:
- You will feel better about yourself, more relaxed
- You will feel that you are in control of the things in your life, not vice versa
- You will have a proven method to cope with day to day pressures
Reasons for self-imposed stress and how to deal with them:
Low self esteem
Stress is often caused by low self-esteem. The person feel incapable to handle what life brings him. Even the small problems are avoided as much as possible, until there is no other option but to handle them. Naturally by this time the person is well stressed out and the things are no longer under his control.
Solution: Change the circumstances. Find out what is the most frustrating thing in your life and if you can’t change it, either accept it or let it go.
It is okay to quit a job you hate. Relax more, do more of what you like. Go shopping. Buy that neon orange dress you fell in love with, get yourself a really good suit (it will help you for making good impression in the interview. Don’t forget for a classy watch and a pair of very comfortable shoes. After all if you are standing up all day, your feet need to be treated right.
Start exercising, join a club to both socialize with new people and to vent off a bit by changing the routine. Buy yourself a brand new sport suit and a pair of awesome sneakers. That will help you get going
Yet another cause for stress. The perfectionist demands for perfect everything. He has unrealistically high standards for everything in his life. However, seldom is anything the way he imagines it.
Solution: Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Find out why he is doing it that way and try to find a solution that suits both of you. Stop nitpicking to death. If a thing is 80% good, it is good enough.
Be easier on yourself. Praise yourself from time to time. Remember all the good things you’ve done and everything you’ve accomplished so far.
Low frustration tolerance
Circumstances overwhelm you very easily. You whine and complain by saying things like “it isn’t fair”, “why me” etc. Situation is rarely so intolerable or unfair.
Solution: the frustration rises the more you want something and you can’t have it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. A little mentoring or even learning the reasons for anger and anxiety will get you a long way into the desired output.
Lower your desires a bit or temporarily postpone them. At the end you will either don’t want it anymore or you’ll eventually get it.
When you think about it in details it is not hard at all. Start by monitoring your self for a week, and meticulously writing every single event that makes you angry. Then follow the steps outlined here. I promise if you do, you will soon feel a lot better and much more relaxed. Good luck!